The Immortal Friend

I sat dreaming in a room of great silence.
The early morning was still and breathless,
The great blue mountains stood against the dark
skies, cold and clear,
Round the dark log house
The black and yellow birds were welcoming the sun.

I sat on the floor, with legs crossed, meditating,
Forgetting the sunlit mountains,
The birds,
The immense silence,
And the golden sun.

I lost the feel of my body,
My limbs were motionless,
Relaxed and at peace.
A great joy of unfathomable depth filled my heart.
Eager and keen was my mind, concentrated.
Lost to the transient world,
I was full of strength.

As the Eastern breeze
That suddenly springs into being
And calms the weary world,
There in front of me
Seated cross-legged,
As the world knows Him
In His yellow robes, simple and magnificent,
Was the Teacher of Teachers.

Looking at me,
Motionless the Mighty Being sat.
I looked and bowed my head.
My body bent forward of itself.
That one look
Showed the progress of the world,
Showed the immense distance between the world
And the greatest of it's Teachers.
How little it understood,
And how much He gave.
How joyously He soared,
Escaping from birth and death,
From it's tyranny and entangling wheel.

Enlightenment attained,
He gave to the world, as the flower gives
It's scent,
The Truth.

As I looked
At the sacred feet that once trod the happy
Dust of India,
My heart poured forth its devotion,
Limitless and unfathomable,
Without restraint and without effort.

- J Krishnamurti.


Late night musings

good night: because when the dark falls and even your shadow leaves you, my wishes will still be by your side.

unconditional love: when you know you will always be the first to say it but regardless you keep saying it.

compassion: you are famished yet you share your food with a stranger.

motivation: a heart drunk on inspiration.

happiness: a forced effort turned habit.

mass writing spree: a heart vomiting.

writer's block: the aftermath called hangover.

emptiness: because I am not shallow.

silence: the longest moment.

60% lust, 60% love: The sole person dominating your thoughts after waking up, before falling asleep and in between.

dreamless nights: because my dream has come true.

dreams: a magical place that gets more realistic with age.

mother: who else loved you even before you were born?

childhood friends: ego meets its nemesis.

philosophy: gossiping for the 2%.

home: shelter with a heart.

words: telepathy.

thoughts: godlike.

irony: when god sneezes and whispers 'bless myself!'

mind: tamed, nirvana; untamed, a beautiful tragedy.

tragedy: living death.

common sense: what?

sense of humor: something you are told to have when you get offended by someone's idea of joke.

social network: less social, the more the network.

temptation: a steeper gradient.

opinion: one too many.

fact: a proven opinion.

truth: an omnipresent fact.

God: 1 ÷ 0 * truth.

Satan: because every yin has a yang.

nature: law.

punishment: going against nature.

miracle: existence.

magic: miracle.

poet: a scarred human.

poem: a permanent scar.

writer: Experience. Persistence. Imagination. Curiosity. EPIC.

sleep: a temporary solace.

death: an unknown constant.

life: an unknown variable.

organized religion: manmade opiate.

faith: crutch.

blind faith: blind seeing dog guiding a blind human on crutch.

trust: a hint of doubt.

anger: quick sand.

depression: there is always a reason.

schizophrenic: never alone.

suicide: too eager to meet the maker.

ego: a self-hosted no-holds-barred contest.

zenith: where humans aspire to reach.

nadir: where the living dead survive.

name: a convenience for others.

I: a transition.


Lost in translation

Meter - Tetrameter
Rhyme scheme - ABBA

Words don't stand by me anymore;
I get lost in their twisted tales,
And never talk about my fails
Though it's become a daily chore.

Though silent musings tell-a-tale,
How often do we find a soul,
With whom we connect as a whole,
Whose heart can understand this tale?

If you have found this person now,
Just let your loving heart go bare;
Second chances are often rare
And so unto Love make a vow.

To love with pure heart, old or young,
For a sacred vow holds till death,
It must be fulfilled with each breath,
So cross your heart and bite your tongue.

  - ashay(5th April, 2k14, 0315 hours)


'Enlightenment in a Paranoid Sense'


All our troubles are alike twinkling stars,
More so evident the darker the night,
If you may dare not to give up the fight,
And wait humbly for the speck of first light,
They will still be there as camouflaged scars.

The recurring writhe thus festered with time,
Deepening the scars to be plain to all,
To all, the pain is camouflaged astral,
Lightened be the path for those who stand tall,
Still walk must he tall to pay for his crime.

It's a path worth walking in all it's glory,
It's a dawn worth waiting for all it brings,
Like a butterfly first times flutters it's wings,
To the tune of peace and freedom it sings,
Per se, is a reward of self-victory.

-ashay(19th feb, 2k13, 0007 hours)


'Wishes don't come true'

Meter : First and Third Lines - Tetrameter; Second and Fourth Lines - Trimeter

I wish the time would stop right now,
And everything would just freeze,
And dark dreams would vanish right now,
So I could live in peace.

I wish a new day would not dawn,
Till this illness has gone,
It's turned me into it's pawn,
I wish to be unborn.

I wish to go into exile,
A burden I've become,
'Cause right now this life seems futile,
And I am not welcome.

I wish there was a guide who'd help,
And befriend this lone heart,
And rescue me 'fore hearing my yelp,
From miles and miles apart.

-ashay(7th feb, 2k13, 1246 hours)


'To lie or not to lie'

Meter : Pentameter

What stops you from speaking the words you choose
To the ones once closest you thought you'd never loose?
What stops you then if not the walls you build
In the name of a so-called protective shield?

What frightens you the most that you need to pretend
When your beloved's not a fiend but a friend?
What frightens you the most then if not pretense itself
When pretending is but lying to oneself?

What begets false hopes in a life of high hopes
That you turn a blind eye on life's sloppy slopes?
What begets false hopes if not high hopes then
For both are equally deceiving and inhumane?

What bequeaths the moral and the wisdom to lie
When you truly want to bid the last goodbye?
What bequeaths then to lie or not to lie?
A heart filled with memories that's about to die!
-ashay(13th nov, 2k12, 0305 hours)


'A dream within a dream'

Apparently, this dream came quite true but with some timely-distance in between the happy part and the sad part...

Rhyme Scheme : ABAB

'A dream within a dream'

In wonder and in awe,
A dream I had today,
A beauty that I saw,
She took my heart away.

She shone of silver glow,
An aura full of grace,
Even the moon hid low,
Behind the dark cloud's face.

I passed her by and gaped,
And fumbled on the ground,
When her hair back she scraped,
Behind her ears around.

Her eyes hath just met mine,
She lent a helping hand,
I saw a smile divine,
And strewed like grains of sand.

I wondered why she blushed,
Was there masked love involved?
My heart-beats hath just surged,
Hey wait!!!...the scene desolved.....

A day or so passed by,
But seemed forever to me,
The judgement time was nigh,
I could not wait to see.

The brightest star in east,
Was concealed by her grace,
The beauty and the beast,
Were once more face to face.

Was the time stopped on me?
Or love at second sight?
I could not budge for glee
Had moved me with it's might.

Ne'er this I felt before,
Or half the worth of it,
The lovely heaven's shore,
I sensed beneath my feet.

But then I saw a man,
Holding her gentle hand,
Helpless and feebly wan,
My heart was a broken strand.

I stood there while she left,
A silent spectator,
The dream now seemed bereft,
To the misty-eyed narrator.

Adrift back to reality,
Fading memories descend,
Whammy incredulity,
I couldn't quite apprehend.

Lasting love, I ponder,
Reflection in her eyes,
In her arms, surrender,
Sans eternal goodbyes.

-ashay(20th march, 1900 hours)

'You are my Friend, my greatest companion'

'You are my Friend, my greatest companion'

A multitude of roles you characterise,
In life's journey you always mesmerise,
Whether you are far-flung or lay near,
You keep me going through all facets of fear,
You keep me going through my happy times and bad,
Whether you yourself are gloomy or sad.
Sometimes a stubborn teacher's role you play,
You teach me how to be strong and lively and gay,
You teach me how to live, love and let go,
Then to evolve into a flower whose seeds you sow,
A flower which is tender outside and strong within,
Such is your charisma so rare to believe in,
Such is your charisma that I find hard to express in words,
For words are mere concealment of true feelings and regards,
For words only say and donot show the true meaning of life's spirit,
Rather your unspoken silence speaks mammoth of this gift.
Your actions hold me tender while i behold this spectacle unfold,
This spectacle called friendship, is worth more than all the gold,
This spectacle called friendship, is worth more than a perfect after-life,
A single friend is worth a complete garden in this life,
As I lay me down to rest, I will always cherish this gift called friend,
As I lay me down to rest, you are my true companion, you are my greatest friend.

-ashay(2nd aug, 2k12,1655)

'The selfish heart'

YES, YES he is selfish!!! honestly, dont do the crime if you cant do the time...

'The selfish heart'

He dwells in his own dell,
Oblivious and isolated,
Often whiny and wicked,
Never to come out of his shell.

He ignores everyone he meets,
Has place for none at his home,
Frankly, he's aloof and all alone,
With straight smile to all he greets.

Love isn't a part of his skill,
He thinks it's a vile crime,
For he knows he can't do the time,
Yet he falls for the age old drill.

Alas! He is shattered, wasted and sore,
Begging to self, "don't repeat it, please!"
But the selfish bastard that he is,
He is ready to die once more.

-ashay (6th Jan, 2k12, 0151 hours)


This one's another of my personal fav...i guess everyone can relate to it...


It's a common adversary that you and I share,
It teaches us more than we could possibly care,
Even the wisest of them all it does not ever spare,
It befalls like an unannounced guest, so always beware.

Like a feather on the breeze it gently sneaks by,
Like a burden it sits on your shoulders on the sly,
A fleeting moment's reluctance and it'll make you sigh,
A few more of them feathers will surely make you cry.

Be unafraid of its outcome, dont hide when you make one,
There should be neither any shame nor any concern,
Just make way for new ones, for you are sure to learn,
Be it huge, be it small, someday its importance you'll discern.

For it's one of the wisest protégé under nature's rule,
Just like its mentor, it's sometimes harsh and cruel,
But in its recurrence dwells an all-powerful jewel,
That it's never too late to learn from this old-faithful.

I applaud to thee, oh wisest of them all "Nature",
For bestowing upon mankind this unique feature,
All are wise to ask for its forgiveness in their prayer,
Yet not all wise enough to harness its untamed power.

-ashay(4th august, 2k11, 1128 hours)

'Duality of love'

This one was inspired by Tennyson's In Memoriam...

'Duality of love'

Down the valleys, up the hill,
The sound echoes of a dying will,
Away it fades, for a dying heart
Has ceased to exist, it's cold and still!

Mourning blues; A sound of cry, 
Wafts through the cold night sky;
Up above the heavenly abode
It dwells, reminisces her last goodbye.

Tis world so cruel; darkest times,
A gaping hole, sustaining life
With no heart's glee, surviving but
Tis cold warfare with a pretentious smile.

Oh! But nature, it's harshest rules,
Toughest survivors sway with blues,
But warmth of care, heartily love,
tis nature's remedy, 'em you use!

For certain is, a gallant role
Of love, in nature's dark hell-hole;
To a killing curse, at times of despair,
Or to a cradle of mirth, a new born soul!


'Wish I could turn back time'

The title says it all...gloomy times don't last forever...

'Wish I could turn back time'

I wish she could lend her precious time,
For there still are many-a-words unsaid.
I wish she could lend her caring heart,
For there are still many-a-feelings unshared.
I wish she could feel the same way I feel,
For only then will the inner silence be heard.

I wish I could turn back time.

I wish she could listen to my heart's cries,
For losing her, it blames its own vice.
I wish she could see the way it bleeds,
When it steps on its own shattered bits.
I wish she could just hug me once more,
For this soul is as lonely as ever before.

I wish I could turn back time.

I wish she could trust me again,
'Cause I've often been a reason for her pain.
I wish she could see when she closes her eyes,
How often I bleed the tears of guilt.
I wish she could feel the turbulence in my mind,
When I struggle to hide from its wrath & strife.

I wish I could turn back time.

I wish, with her, I could relive those moments,
Reminiscent, tears always stream down my face.
I hope I still exist for her,
'Cause despite the pain, I an still her biggest well-wisher.
Now all that remains are memories downhearted,
'Cause I've lost something that can't ever be replaced.

I wish someone would invent a fucking time-machine so that I could turn back the damn time!

-ashay(19th may,2k11,2305 hours)

'You didn't fail'

This one's my most favorite poem and is dedicated to a very special person who contributed a lot to make me the person that I am today...

'You didn't fail'

You have an untapped power within yourself,
You have the midas touch in your words,
You have the patience to be calm at times,
That'd shatter even the mightiest of hearts!

You have the courage to face this world alone,
But that's just a deceiver 'cause you can never be alone,
For the whole world might deceive you and leave you,
But you'd never leave the whole world on its own.

For such a Grande heart you have,
That could engulf all the pain in the world,
Yet a smile would shine on your pretty face,
A mark of a true spirit of human race.

Those lonesome yet happy few spirits,
That've been sheltered under your heart's shade,
Those lucky few, to have received love from you,
Would forever be indebted to you even beyond there death-bed!

A wistful thinker would conquer himself,
Would surmount all of his worst fears,
His nightmares would turn into damsels,
Just let your goodwill be with him forever.

For when you try to help someone,
Failure but never can triumph past through you,
For being attached to you even by the flimsiest relationship,
Is a greater hope for him than any worldly virtue.

-ashay(9th march,2k11,1311 hours)

'I miss her'

This one's one of my fav...it's been almost 3 years and now i wonder if this sounds corny....

'I miss her'

I miss her,
I miss her like hell.

I miss her,
As much sorely as a mother misses her dead child...

As much immensely as a broken hearted frustrated one sided lover's plight...

As much unwittingly as a confined bird misses soaring the horizons...

As much helplessly as an insomniac misses his naps...
As much truthfully as every mortal who misses its juvenescence...

As much woefully as a loner misses friendship...
As much deeply as an orphan misses its parents...

As much mournfully as a country laments for its martyrs...

As much eminently as the eminence of eminem....

As much wholeheartedly as every soul who misses its school life...

As much painfully as my heart misses her heartbeats... 



This one was inspired by Ella wheeler wilcox


When emotions fall short of words
And quietus takes its prey;
When blues descend, no words can mend
the worlds lost in dismay.

When life falls short of spark
And all desires rot away;
When the skeletons rattle in lost battle,
Quiet is the only getaway.

-ashay(14th oct, 2k12, 2342 hours)


'Saala anpad gawar jhahil...'

'Saala anpad gawar jhahil...'

Dil kare kuch aur, dimag samjhe kuch aur,
Jhooth bolna toh koi is dil se sikhe.

Pyar sambhalta nahi, phir bhi pyar chahiye,
Udhar maangna toh koi is dil se sikhe.

Gussa aata nahi, phir bhi taav dikhaye,
Dhamki dena toh koi is dil se sikhe.

Muuh fulaye baithe, phir bhi kuch na bole,
Rooth jana toh koi is dil se sikhe.

Dimag k saath hai chattis ka aakda, phir bhi
Dimag ko manana koi is dil se sikhe.

Chaar panktiyon k liye raat ki neend kharab karwaye,
Kavi ki khastaa haalat is naadan ko kaun samjhaye,
Dimaag ko sheh aur maat kar de apne andaaz se kyonki
Shabdon ko tarashna toh koi is dil se sikhe.

-ashay(7th oct, 2k12, 0112 hours)


'The last hope'

Sometimes when the alive ones are too busy to lend an ear, it's the fallen that you turn to...

'The last hope'

In search of thee,
I wander alone,
The light I see,
Once brightly shone.
I beg to thee,
The past to atone,
To make me free,
Many-a-loss I bemoan.

The misty eyes,
A yearning stare,
The hushed cries,
speak of despair,
An emptiness rise,
That doesnot spare,
Neither daft nor wise,
Nor those that dare.

The morning sun,
Illuminates the grave,
A mourning son,
Struggles to be brave,
The night not won,
The night of slave,
Reminiscent of the fallen,
The last hope He gave.

-ashay(19th,aug,2k11, 0231 hours)


'The longest night of my life...so far...'

I guess the title says it all.......

'The longest night of my life...so far...'

HE lay cold and still,
Deep asleep into the eternal slumber,
Unmoved nd resolute HE remained to the cries of HIS loved ones,
"Father, wake up!!", HIS boy cried hoping that HE'd open HIS eyes,
But the futile attempts all went in vain,
HE remained a silent spectator to the cries of his beloved,
The boy wept and consoled thyself and his mother,
Bearing the weight on his sinking heart
That was becoming heavier and heavier 
With every passing second,
Numbness crept over,
He knew no emotions were strong enough to break him,
But sumhow at that moment,
He was rendered helpless,
'Cause his Father were'nt there to consolidate him...

What do you do when your biggest strength becomes your biggest weakness?

What do you do when you are helpless to stop HER perpetually flowing tears?

What do you do when the feeling of 'eternal sadness' takes over?

What do you do when you are obliged to fight back your tears, even though you know you are fighting a losing battle, for the sake of your beloved?

Some questions can't be answered,
I perceived this on the longest night of my life...so far...

As I paid my last tributes to HIM, the words of Gandhiji echoed in my mind, "There are no goodbyes in life for You will live in my heart forever."
Love You Dad. :'(

-ashay(jan 17th,2k10,0256 hours)