"The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven." - John Milton.
attahi attano natho
attahi attano gati
you are your own master
you make your own future. - Buddha.
“I would never have amounted to anything were it not for adversity.” ― James Cash Penney.
My dear miserable friends,
Misery is your friend only till the point that you learn the lesson it had intended to teach. After that, it becomes a burden. And as is the fact, if you haven't learned it already, one never keeps misery to oneself. He always throws it on people around him and now with the advent of technology, even on people who are sitting at the opposite end of the globe. Misery has found a faster way to travel the world.
It is highly likely that whatever misery you are going through has already been experienced by someone you know. It is not always important to experience every misery because that would simply exhaust you and in worst case scenario, depress you. So if you are miserable, identifying that you are miserable and that this misery is not being caused by any external object or person or circumstance but by your own ignorance(moh) is an important part in recovering from your misery. You cannot outrun misery and he is the best hide-n-seek player you'll ever have the privilege to meet because he will always find you and he always hides in plain sight. You must face him head on. Be brave, because the good news is that every present misery is as temporary as your past ones. To let it harm you or to not let it harm you, that is the question. And that is a conscious choice you need to make.
So when someone is trying to do something that will benefit you, not because he is saying it or some priest has said it or some scripture says it or it is attributed to some god or goddess but that you find it legible by your own common sense, listen and give a fair trial to it. If you think it can help, talk to those who have tried it. When it comes to your mind's integrity, leave no stone unturned. If you let in a virus in your mind, it is bound to wreck havoc.
Ones you become an "appropriate adult", you are responsible for your own actions. Your actions directly affect your parents, siblings and friends. When you are miserable, these are generally the first batch of helpers with whom you share your misery. Your actions are a direct consequence of the state of mind you carry every moment. Everything you say to them, if they really care, has a direct consequence on the state of their own mind and if you have a guilty conscience, it is bound to get worst for you. What you say or do can psychologically break them or make them. It is entirely an individual's choice whether they want to break others or make others. One dislikes, becomes agitated when oneself breaks, similarly others also get miserable when they are psychologically broken. This is not the art of living.
Something undesirable has happened or something desirable has been lost will make one's mind agitated and only generate more ripples of unwanted thoughts and ignorance will pave way to regrettable physical and vocal actions. But even before a physical or a vocal action has transpired, the mind already starts harming itself, rolling in misery, multiplying it and you start oscillating between the past and the future. Hours will go by and you will realize later you just wasted important hours of your life in misery when they could have been used for something constructive.
Remember, don't break but make. Be a positive reinforcement. And each individual must strive to do this.